Yesterday — Wednesday, 3 December 2008
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~Good enough~  Seleny...Angel 19:41:02 |
 | It's so strange... Only ONE phone call can change and even spoil the whole life!.. Six hours of sleep - a paradise for me...A cup of strong coffee, music, a good mood despite everything. A fog in the streets... And then, suddenly a phone ring.
"Everything is bad"
Then a headache and earphones - a perfect combination...
As I've already said, a fog outside... Small rain...An ideal weather to become invisible... A girl, wearing a black jacket, holding a brown school bag and blond hair on her shoulders...
Do my friends know, that, when I'm listening to Keane, Placebo and Coldplay, I usually feel bad?.. Hm, I don't think so... And do you know what? I've managed to be invisible, perhaps for 3 hours... And then a stress, stress...Sel was nervous! Very nervous!!! Only a cup of coffee in the morning, and then a chewing gum as a dinner) Niceeee...)Then another cup of coffee and finally, food!)
I have to pretend... I'm weak... My friends consider me to be very strong...Ha! Guys! I need your help and understanding...NOW!..
"I went to the canteen,'cause you were deep in yourself and I didn't want to spoil my mood..."
You don't know, what has happened, do you?.. Nope...
*a tired smile*
Well, and that's why, I'll smile, for you, guys, my friends, my family... No tears, no pain, perhaps, I don't want you to see me crying...
And that's why I'm writing everything here...
Heh, you must be thinking, that I'm the most pessimistic person in the whole world...
But that's not true!..I'm just weak now, and that's all...I'll be alright...
Seleny...Angel)
 "Turn around"
Mood: I don't have it
I want: To go somewhere
Tags: My life, My thoughts..., Questions, Sleeplessness, [...Feelings amd emotions...], About nothing, Awful((( |
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The day before yesterday — Tuesday, 2 December 2008
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| Just my thoughts or smth else?.. Seleny...Angel 21:36:03 |
 | All people are tend to be in hurry...There look forward to a new day...But time runs too quickly...And then in a couple of years you want to turn everything back...But you can do nothing...There is a moment in our life, when we realize, that we want to become that small smiling child again...to live again!!!To be a teen and to feel your first love, first kiss...We have a lack of time...A lack of life!..Enjoy your life, live every second(c), 'cause it's highly estimated nowadays!..Use this chance - we'll never have another one
Nirvana - Smells like teen spirit
Mood: So so
I want: Nothing
Tags: My life, My thoughts..., Night Thougths, [...Feelings amd emotions...], Somewhere only we know |
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Tuesday, 25 November 2008
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| 0=) Seleny...Angel 12:47:51 |
 | Hm... Almost one month. So strange!
Million thoughts in my head, but I didn't want write them here.
I've started writing poems and drawing pictures))) What's wrong with me?..
During this month a sleeplessness has become a part of my life...
Only 5-6 hours of sleep a day - and I'm almost happy))
Let me to sleep perhaps till 9 or 10 a.m. and that would be awesome!
Xmas is coming in one month... I've downloaded an old movie, which I liked to watch, when I was a kid.
It's so difficult to estimate the importance of such moments: just to sit in the room, to watch that old film and to smile, 'cause you realize, that you are not that child any more...
And the real Xmas comes, when all your friends and relatives are happy. And you are not interesting in presents for yourself any more) You're dreaming about the best way of finding best presents for them)
Silence
Mood: Feeling bad
I want: Mmmmm..))
Tags: My thoughts..., Sleeplessness, Somewhere only we know |
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Monday, 3 November 2008
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| Give her more!!!! (c) Seleny...Angel 06:07:50 |
 | A morning...
Only 3 hours of sleep...
A cup of coffee!!!
My music! Loud! Very loud!!! Come on!!!..
That's all I need now!
Smile, honey! OK? *smiling*
2 weeks till smth new...
8 weeks till the 1st end...
Yeah! xDDD
BS - Gimme more
Mood: 0_o
I want: Nothing...
Tags: My life, My thoughts..., [...Feelings amd emotions...], About nothing |
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Friday, 31 October 2008
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| Buhaha! xDDD Seleny...Angel 08:53:05 |
| Do you know what's the date today?!![]:-)](http://xywe.com/i/smiles/devil.png "]:-)")
Yeah, you're right - the 31st of October & it means, that... Today is the Halloween!
Thus Happy Halloween to everybody!!!
Hm, but the weather is soooo bad: rain, wind... WTF?! I hope, that this year I won't read about the political systems of English-speaking coutries all night
In 40 minutes I'm leaving the house and going to the cinema with my friends... Last three days of freedom and then - schooool... Pf! A scary word... And, of course, the 2d of November - a big-big suprise for our friend
Silence
Mood: Amazing!!!
I want: I want this stupid rain to stop!!!
Tags: Holidays, Happy!, My life, Yahoo!!! |
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Monday, 27 October 2008
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| Try to understand smth xDD Seleny...Angel 09:57:18 |
 | Fear...
Why?!
I'm afraid not to know what to say.
Stupid topics!.. USA! USA! USA! Dammit!
No, I'm not nervous!
And also a writing...
I'm really afraid to fail everything!!!
I need to meet Kate...A cinema. Yeah...
Always, when I need to talk to her, I hear only this stupid voice in the cell phone "...try to call later..."
And all those letters))It was so nice to read them.
Coldplay
Mood: ...
I want: To head for some warm island, far away from here
Tags: My life, My thoughts..., Questions, About nothing |
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Tuesday, 21 October 2008
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| Perfect world..? Seleny...Angel 16:08:55 |
| Autumn...
It's so cool to view main pages of different sites and to read smth like:
"Ah! Autumn!!! What a wonderful season!" & "Dammit! I hate it! This stupid fall always only spoils everything in my life" xDDD
It might sound strange, but I feel nothing about it! Just NOTHING! I'm a kind of a mix of all these feelings)))
Hm, even less then 2 weeks left till the that competition, but I don't care!=) And then FLEX... *smiling* I will never win it, but, honestly, I don't want to! xD USA... Sure, a nice state, but!!! Poor Ksenya... Now she is in the USA and do you know what? Her family doesn't give her any food, the temperature in her room is about 15C, the nearest shop is 20 mins away by car and she has no warm clothes, 'cause they don't allow her to go and buy some!!! And this is one of the richest states in the world?!Pf! No way! UA - the best country ever! xDDD
Britney Spears - Womanizer
Mood: Good
I want: Where is my bed? xDD
Tags: Forget it, Future, {-Bo-o-oring-} |
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Saturday, 11 October 2008
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| Let's get it started!!! Seleny...Angel 19:13:34 |
 | Ok, I'm back...But not for long! On the 8th of November I'm going to the olimpiyad.
NICE!!! xDDD
But I don't care about it, probably because I'm tired of all these bla-bla-bla-bla)))
Now I'm thinking about smth else) Mmmm, London! England!!!
Dreams-dreams xDDD
Sure, I have a chance to go to London for 2 or 3 weeks, but what about a price of such a trip?..
Ah, it doesn't matter!)))
Now I'm thinking only about the redecoration at home! It will be great, if we would finish it before New Year!)))
Paramore - Here we go again
Mood: Soso
I want: Emm, I don't know
Tags: My life |
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Wednesday, 8 October 2008
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| Forget it! Seleny...Angel 17:33:36 |
| A headache... Again!!! Damm it!!!
Try to do my h/t, but I can't...
No one needs to know about this...
So why I'm writting this?..
My head simply doesn't work.
What's wrong with me?..
Now I really want to feel fit...
Where is my bed?..
No where! I don't have it now!!!
A redecoration...
A scary word...
I can find nothing...
Silence
Mood: Awful
I want: I don't know
Tags: Awful(((, About nothing, Forget it |
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| Morning Seleny...Angel 05:09:54 |
 | You wanted to see London?=)
Here you are!
The whole town is covered with fog...
Like a big ghost.
Cold and wet - a real autumn...
Tokio Hotel
Mood: Emmm
I want: Not to go to school...
Tags: My thoughts..., About nothing |
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Thursday, 2 October 2008
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| _Mrs. Destiny_ Seleny...Angel 14:47:17 |
 | Who is SHE?
What does SHE mean in our lives?
Or, SHE IS our lives?..
No!!! It's wrong!!!
SHE is evil!!!SHE kills people!..
We fight with HER since our first breath and till the end of our lives!..
I always thought, that our life - it's the only one to be blamed in all our difficulties!
But no...
SHE is!!!
Everyday we meet HER!
Everywhere!!!
SHE steps silently and then, suddenly, when we don't expect HER to turn up, SHE rushes through the crowd and choose us!..
And that's when a real fight begins!
But not all of us can overcome HER!..
Only the strongest!.. Who has a strong will...
My mother does and she did it!!!
She won the fight!!!
She proved, that human beings can be stronger, then SHE is!!!
SHE is our destiny!..
-Knock-knock!
-Who's there?
-Me?
-Who "me"?
-Your destiny!..
-Fuck off!!!
We write our own lives!!! We!!! Not SHE!!!
Nena - Fragezeichen
Mood: Good
I want: Hm...
Tags: [...Feelings amd emotions...], My thoughts..., About nothing |
| | 9 comments | Add comment |
Wednesday, 1 October 2008
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| Really, why?.. Seleny...Angel 17:45:10 |
 | Ah, do you know, why I like Thursdays?..
'Cause on Thursdays' mornings I get up and say myself:"Hold on! Only 2 days left till holidays... Cheer up!"
Tomorrow is Thursday!
But the morning of the Friday is the nicest thing:
"Finally!!! The end of the week!!!"=)
And I also like, when we don't have to come on the 1st lesson)))
Tomorrow I'm sleeping for one more hour longer)))
Only 4 lessons till 13:15 and then: Home, Sweet home!! xDDD
Autumn makes me feel always tired... Or, maybe it's school?)))
Doesn't matter!
I must admit, that I'm quite a sleepyhead)
It's horrible, when I have to rise at 6:25...
Of course, I don't sleep till 16:00, but...
12 hours for a sleep - the best time to feel fit)))
And no-o-o-ow...
Say "Good Bye" to Sel=),
'cause Sel=) is saying you "Sweet Dreams!!!"=)
Good Night!
Tatu - You and I
Mood: *sleeps*
I want: To hug my pillow
Tags: My thoughts..., [...Feelings amd emotions...], Night Thougths, School is sucks! |
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Monday, 29 September 2008
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| ~Beautiful Cars~ Seleny...Angel 18:46:51 |
 | Neon lights...Lamps...
That's how my sma-a-all town looks at night!..
You may say, that every city is like this.
But I will never accept this!
It's so nice to sit in my dad's car...
To lean on the chair...
And to listen to the loud play in my earphones...
Mmmm, I do this every evening...
And I like it!!!
Yes, I must admit, that I like beautiful cars...
So, who am I?
A hopeless romantic?!
Who cares about this?!
"I believe in you! And I want all your dreams to come true, like in all those romantic films, that you like them so much!))"
Katty))) Here's the person, who understands me...
But, she doesn't forget to get me back to Earth, when I'm somewhere, only I know)))
Wait, what was I talking about?..
Ah, forget it!
It means nothing!..
Nena - Іrgendwie, irgendwo, irgendwann
Mood: Nice
I want: To ride around the town...more and more!!!!
Tags: [...Feelings amd emotions...], Somewhere only we know, About nothing, My thoughts..., Night Thougths |
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Sunday, 28 September 2008
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| An empty room... Seleny...Angel 17:45:17 |
| So difficult!..
All these things...
Put them into the boxes...
I don't feel like saying "Bye" to them...
I'm not ready yet!!!
No! Don't take my memories!..
I can't handle this situation!
It looks so gloomy!..
Rihanna - Cry
Mood: I don't know...
I want: Nothing
Tags: [...Feelings amd emotions...], My life, My thoughts..., Somewhere only we know, About nothing |
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Friday, 26 September 2008
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| F-R-I-D-A-Y!!!! Seleny...Angel 13:39:57 |
 | Say it again and again!!!
I'm happy!!!
Two days of sleeping, listening to the music and mixing in the ICQ!..
Thank Goodness!!!
So tired of going to school!!!Just wanna stay at home and to lie in the bed!!! Ah,my pillows!!!
Why do I have to study Math, Physics and Chemistry, if I know, that I don't need it in my life?!
All these laws... Yuck!!!
NikitA
Mood: 99 red balloons!... Mmmm?xDDD
I want: To blow up the school!!!
Tags: School is sucks!, Somewhere only we know, Yahoo!!!, Happy! |
| | 25 comments | Add comment |
Thursday, 25 September 2008
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| xDDD Seleny...Angel 12:35:30 |
| OMG! I can't stand it!!! xD
Our English school book is so damm stupid!!!
One exercise from it...which I had to do at the lesson. The topic of the unit was sport...
You have to answer the questions ... So, here they are:
1) You are a good swimmer, aren't you? - No, I'm not
2) Do you have much training? - No...
3) Have you got a good trainer? - No...
4) What is his (her) name? - Dammit!!! I don't go in for sports!!! 
5) Is swimming your only sports? - somebody, please kill me! I can't read this nonsence anymore!!!
What can you learn, by answering these questions?!
N-O-T-H-I-N-G!!!
Or what about our teacher?..
She says, that I can't use "'cause"!!! It's a sl!!!
"We don't have Oxword books ar school, so you have to use only words from our book"
Wonderfull english lessons: our teacher and my classmates talk about Bred Pitt, Jonny Depp and other stars At English?! *going crazy*
But I'm sooooo happy, that it's Friday tomorrow!!!! Aliluya!!!!
8 lessons, then English at home and holidays....
Ah... Amazingly nice!!!
Sel, relax, take it easy...xD
Nelly Furtado - Say it right
Mood: Niceeee
I want: Mmmm, "Skittles"!!! xDDD
Tags: School is sucks!, Crazy!!!, {-Bo-o-oring-}, Holidays, Happy! |
| | 10 comments | Add comment |
Sunday, 21 September 2008
Saturday, 20 September 2008
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| So strange... Seleny...Angel 10:28:39 |
| Now I'm talking with one of my friends... And do you know what'd I realized?..
I haven't been celebrating the St. Valentine Day for 3 years!..
Must be the "best" St. Vanentine Day was this year)
From 9 a.m. till 4 p.m. Sel'd been sitting in the cold building and preparing for the olimpiyad)
Then a snowy way home, lunch and I went to my friend...Just to relax after that awful hours, which I's spent at that university. Music and funny talks))) And then only my walkman and a short dark way home.
But suddenly, a loud noise and a hard hand on my shoulder.
- Hey, wait a min, what's up? - two my classmates...
- Ouch, don't scare me like that! What're guys doing here?
- Just going around.And you're...
- An evening walk, will you believe in this?
- Nope!*smiled* How is Sondra?
"How did he understand, that I was at her place?.."
- She's OK. Ok, guys, I'll go, 'cause I'm cold. The weather is sucks!
- Wait, do you have some new music or films at home?
- Aha, let's go...
20 minutes, spent near my comp and a full flash-card with my music)...
While leaving my home they turned around and said:
- Ah, and by the way, Happy St. Valentine Day...
- Thank's... Bye.
Heh, and in a one week I had my Birthday party...
Ah, all those things! Why am I writing them now? So foolish!
Paramore - We're broken
Mood: OK
I want: I don't know
Tags: About nothing, [...Feelings amd emotions...], My thoughts..., My life |
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Wednesday, 17 September 2008
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| An Allergy and a Headache....My old good friends. Seleny...Angel 19:28:24 |
| Do you have dreams?..
I do... I have a special copy-book, where I write down all my dreams and then underline, which come true...
But now I want only to sleep enough!!! I want to lie in the bed for the whole day and to watch DVD's...
And that's all! No! I also want to light the candles...
Lonely romantic)))
Keane
Mood: I'm not sure
I want: To sleep for the whole day
Tags: Somewhere only we know, My life, My thoughts... |
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Tuesday, 16 September 2008
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| So difficult!.. Seleny...Angel 05:02:02 |
| Damm, it's too difficult 4 me!!!
Everytime, when, I hear music, I start singing automatically!!!
It's impossible!..
I want to sing...(((
This stupid illness!!!
Silence
Mood: Bad
I want: To sing!!!
Tags: My life, SOS!!!!, Somewhere only we know |
| | 17 comments | Add comment |
Sunday, 14 September 2008
Wednesday, 10 September 2008
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| I'm tired... Seleny...Angel 15:49:16 |
 | Stress, stress, stress...
I hate this word!!!
A headache, which has been killing me for the last 3 days.
Now everything is serious: I can't sing, I can't laugh, I can't talk too loud, I can't show my emotions...
Maybe I really need to become a robot?=)
Everyday I go to sleep at 9 p.m., 'cause I simply can't stay awaked any more. Even now I want to hug my pillow and forget about everything...
Real autumn is knocking at my window and nothing can stop it.
I hate autumn! Because of its rains and dark clouds...
It's raining outside...And now I feel so bad...
There are days in my life, when I want to listen only to Keane, Coldplay and Placebo... Here they are...
"If you wanna play it like a game? Well, come on, come, let's play"
Paramore
Keane
Mood: Awful
I want: To sleep and to get rid of this pain...
Tags: My life, My mood, Somewhere only we know |
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Friday, 5 September 2008
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| 26, 27... Who's next?! Seleny...Angel 05:03:42 |
 | More and more and all of them are boys...Damm! We need one more person to divide our form into to groups to learn EN and UA... This year everything is like always: Sel don't sleep enough, at 9 p.m. my head stops working and my body does everything automatically... And then: soft pillows. Ah, amazing!
And now I'm waiting for my friend to come and we'll go to school.
And do you know was is the first lesson? Physical training!!!Aaa, after the last year 30m I'm afraid to run! Sounds funny? Maybe, maybe... But the small scar on my stomach doesn't think so...
Well, wish me luck.
I hope I won't fall again)
Em, a club mix of a song
Mood: it's morning morning now, what mood are you talking about?!
I want: Long and long holiday!!!
Tags: My life, My thoughts..., School is sucks!, Wish me luck |
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Monday, 1 September 2008
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| It means nothing Seleny...Angel 17:39:55 |
 | I hate, when people feel sad and I can do nothing...
I feel sad too, I'm sorry...
A good person?
I don't think so!
This fear hides somewhere inside of me...
And I can do nothing with it!
Pain, pain, pain!
Deep inside of me.
Don't mention this, you won't understand.
Even I can't understand it at all.
"Kill one and you can save a thousand"...
Truth, but it hurts.
Maybe I'm the one, who is due to be killed?..
Ah, stupid, stupid thoughts!!!
I'm not thinking about killing myself!!!
To commit suicide?No! NEVER!
Background
Mood: LMA
I want: Hm
Tags: About nothing, [...Feelings amd emotions...], My life, My mood, My thoughts... |
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|
| The first school day, still feel cold and etc) Seleny...Angel 12:31:03 |
| Only +10C above zero and I had to sing... I felt so cold, that my voice even were trembling, though, everyone only were talking about how good I was. I don't think so! The music were too loud, the wind was too strong, I felt too cold!!! Hm, maybe is just my self-criticism... Now I'm afraid, I might fall ill, as I always do xDDD As my cousin said:"You managed to fall ill, even in summer, when it is hot and you can get the stupidest illness ever"
And now I want to say, that the most comfortable, warm and nice clothes are sneakers, jeans and a warm jersey with a hood)))Talking about our class... Well, many really good guys left the school and entered thechnical schools. Now we have a freshman in our class and only 25 people in it. As earlier we had 35))
Maybe it's good, that the class became smaller, but now it's much more different, then it was before. I've never been really "open" to all my classmates, only to my friends, the number of who isn't more then 5)
Rihanna - Disturbia
Mood: --cold
I want: Warm!!!
Tags: School is sucks! |
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